Parenting While Black in February—and Every Other Month

Let me tell you what Black History Month looks like for Black parents.

Their child comes home with a worksheet about Rosa Parks. Beautiful. Important. Necessary.

Then, two weeks later, a teacher calls their daughter's natural hair "distracting." Or their son gets suspended for behavior that got his white classmate a warning. Or their kid asks why they're always the only one in their honors class who looks like them.

And they realize: we teach children about the kings and queens of the past, but we're sending them into a present that still questions their crown.

The Weight They Carry

Parenting while Black means living in constant translation. Black parents are translating the world's messages back into truth. Pre-teaching resilience for situations they pray their children never face. Building armor and wings at the same time.

We celebrate Black History Month because children need to know where they come from. But here's what keeps many parents up at night: their children need to know who they are, right now, in a world that gives them 28 days of celebration and 337 days of... everything else.

What Identity Toys Taught Me

When I ran Identity Toys thirty years ago, I watched what happened when a four-year-old picked up a toy with their skin tone, their hair texture, their features—and saw it as beautiful without anyone having to tell them it was.

That moment of recognition? That's not Black History. That's identity formation. That's a child learning that "normal" includes them.

Here's what I learned:

pride isn't a lesson we teach once during a heritage month. It's an environment we create.

It's the books on shelves in April. It's how families respond when children face microaggressions in September. It's the daily, relentless work of building homes where Blackness is so affirmed that when the outside world tries to make them question it, they have a foundation that doesn't crack.

The Gap Nobody Talks About

Black parents are doing this work in isolation. They're:

Googling "how to talk to kids about racism" at midnight

Searching for books with characters who look like their children

Having conversations their white friends don't even know need to happen

Making up their own playbooks because mainstream parenting advice doesn't account for raising Black children in America

They're doing it largely without infrastructure, without resources designed specifically for them, without a central place that understands parenting while Black requires an entirely different toolkit.

Why I'm Exploring Grow Up Proud

Identity Toys ended 30 years ago, but my wish remains: every Black family should have access to tools that help them build environments of pride.

Not just in February. But on Tuesday morning when a child doesn't want to go to school because they feel different. On Friday night when they ask why their hair doesn't look like the other kids'. On Sunday afternoon when they're just existing in their beautiful, complex, fully human Blackness.

I'm exploring whether Grow Up Proud could be what I wish had existed when I was running Identity Toys—a space that understands parenting while Black isn't the same as just "parenting." A platform with resources designed for building pride in children who will face specific challenges. A community where parents can connect and share what's working. Tools that make this work a little less lonely, a little less exhausting, a little more possible.

I'm in the early stages— listening to what Black parents have to say —and  exploring whether this concept can become reality.

Beyond the Bulletin Board

Black History Month is vital. Children need to know about Harriet Tubman's courage and MLK's dream.

But they also need to know that their own courage matters today. That their own dreams are valid now. That they don't have to wait to be historical to be worthy.

The heroes we celebrate in February had someone who created a space where they could believe in themselves before anyone else did.

Black parents are those people for their children today. And they deserve support for this sacred, exhausting, crucial work.

Are you a parent navigating these challenges? What resources do you wish existed? Your feedback will help shape whether Grow Up Proud becomes reality. Let's talk in the comments.